Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Oh Warren! You Sad, Spiteful Little Turd, You!

Okay. So Warren Kinsella is a no-talent hack, that somehow managed to make a big name for himself (by Canadian standards, that is) about fifteen years ago. As the big name now fades (again, by Canadian standards; so as the nothingness is ever so gradually drizzled into the void), and the little man is left only with himself for company, the scramble begins.

Why is nobody interested in my opinions? Don't they know that I'm the Prince of Darkness of Canadian Politics? I've been telling them that for years now! Are they deaf?! I strangled Adolf Hitler with a guitar string, for God's sake, simultaneously inspiring the invention of punk rock! I conned a majority of Canadians into taking their marching orders from a retarded man for ten fucking years!!! Hell, just the other day I made love to Justin Trudeau--and it was heterosexual love! Explain that, you bunch of pillow-biting nancy boys! I move in mysterious ways, My wonders to perform--are you people fucking blind?!

Eventually Warren settles and realizes that the reason he is being ignored has nothing to do with the fact that he is a crazy, talentless idiot. He blogs the following (no permalink, obviously):

May 22, 2007 - A couple folks have asked me why I don't ever show up in this.

Just a hunch, but I'd say it's not unrelated to this.

Adam's certainly hired some interesting people!

Yes! That's it! It's because some nobody (albeit, a nobody with more ability in one of his butt zits than could be produced by an entire generation of Kinsellas) happened fleetingly to observe that he, Warren, needs to be brought "down a peg. Or fifty." ... 'Snothing to do with the fact that his column doesn't offer much more by way of insight or coherence than can be gleaned from the bunghole of a weasel. No!

In any case: the conspiracy continues apace, Warren! Don't you think it's time that you revealed to everyone that you're really Jesus?