Warning: Culture May Not Protect You From The Inevitability of Death

This is what happens when you give a bunch of philistines the key to the paint box:

Along with violence, depictions of sex, adult language and other content considerations, ratings organizations will examine new releases to determine if they glamorize smoking or if it is pervasive through the films, even among adults.

[...]

Of the policy, [Christopher] Buckley wrote by e-mail: "I can only hope this means that the MPAA will strip such films as 'Casablanca,' 'To Have and Have Not' and 'Sunset Boulevard' of their G-ratings and re-label them for what they were: insidious works of pro-smoking propaganda that led to millions of uncounted deaths. Bravo."

Well, it looks like the Motion Picture Association of America has finally settled the debate as to whether art imitates life or vice versa. A quarter of the American population (a fifth of the Canadian) are, apparently, shills. Simple dimple.

Bravo, indeed! And I trust, as consistency requires, that this move will find itself echoed throughout the entire arts community ... I never much liked Carmen myself, and look forward very much to future of its productions being given an NC-17 rating or, better yet, its being rewritten from scratch.

How's this sound:

Voyez-les! Regards impudents,
mines coquettes!
Fumant toutes, du bout des dents,
la *FRUIT ROLL-UPS*!

By way of celebrating this progressive and health-promoting step forward, I thought I might spend the afternoon meditating upon the pristine virtues of anal intercourse. Who's with me?!