"Sexual Realism" Takes a Front Seat to Reality

So, apparently, a bunch of eggheads rendezvoused at the 29th Annual Guelph Sexuality Conference this week (where, I think it's safe to say, everybody slept singly, and in rasping turtlenecks) to "come up with more convincing ways of reaching cynical, media savvy adolescents who have "seen it all" and are wary of anyone over 30." (... That just about everyone in attendance was well over the age of 30 goes without saying.)

The main concern of the conference appears to have been that none of the magic solutions proposed by progressives over the course of the last 20-30 years are working. At all. Indeed, things seem to be getting worse.

Their solution, of course, was simply to pour on more of the same.

Carolyn Stewart, a Simon Fraser "Health Educator", suggested this:

When someone tells you, 'Sex sucks with a condom,' then you could say, 'Actually, I know how to make it really hot. Do you want me to show you?'

That is.

Trent Psychology Professor Terry Humphreys, offered the following:

"Consent is a complex set of negotiations," he said.

Pulling from two decades worth of research on the topic, Prof. Humphreys illustrated why saying "No" is not only not part of "normative sexual scripts," but also a clear violation of most people's conversational norms. When it comes to sex, he said, "Young people have a strong belief that they have a 'Yes,' unless it's stated otherwise."

Complicating the matter, Prof. Humphreys explained, is that most sexual cues are non-verbal: verbalizing kills the mood and dulls the spontaneity so intrinsic to arousal. Even more problematic, he said, is that both sexes often prefer ambiguity during casual liaisons, offering less chance for awkwardness and rejection.

That is.

Does this nonsense strike anyone else as being the frozen limit of pointlessness? In the end, you get the distinct impression that Professor Frink there, and his Guelph Gang of Progressively- Minded Pedagogical Masturbators, aren't so much concerned about the sexual health of adolescents as they are about being able to "relate" to young people so that they aren't made to feel so old themselves. (Which, incidentally, teenagers consider to be a particularly repulsive trait in adults.)

If you'll allow me: the only way to bridge the gap between you and a bunch of rutting kids is, I'm afraid, to wait until the inexorable passage of time has made grown-ups of them too. Until then, yours must be that untiring voice ringing in the back of their tittle-tattle filled heads, commanding them to keep it in their pants! Spank them if necessary (and while you still can). Lame, I know. --But who cares?! You're worried about looking lame to a bunch of teenagers? Grow-up, for God's sake!

And rest assured that once they've shaken off that dreary dew of youth, they will understand. (And, likely, if they've acquired any brains in the meantime, they'll be grateful too.)

... In related news:

A Toronto city councillor is hoping to make it a little harder for young spray paint artists to practise their trade.

In a letter going to council's licensing and standards committee next Friday, Councillor Paul Ainslie (Ward 43, Scarborough East) says he wants to prohibit the sale of spray paint to anyone under age 18 to reduce "graffiti and tagging."

That is.