Life of Al

Overheard outside Convocation Hall, February 21st 2007.

Reg: They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.

Loretta: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: Yeah.

Loretta: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

Xerxes: The aqueduct?

Reg: What?

Xerxes: The aqueduct.

Reg: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

Commando 3: And sanitation.

Loretta: Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like.

Reg: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.

Matthias: And the roads!

Reg: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads--

Commando: Irrigation.

Xerxes: Medicine.

Commandos: Huh? Heh? Huh...

Commando 2: Education.

Commandos: Ohh...

Reg: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

Commando 1: And the wine.

Commandos: Oh, yes. Yeah...

Francis: Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

Commando: Public baths.

Loretta: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

Francis: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this!

Commandos: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Reg: But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Xerxes: Brought peace?

Reg: Oh, pea-- Shut up!

Well ... It sounded a bit more like this. Nearly as good in spots.