De minimis non curat whaaaat?!

As conservatives undertake that most liberal exercise of purging from their ranks the apparent causes of all the world's ills, I notice that that hackneyed business about same sex marriage is being trotted-out once again.

The sort of person who remains opposed to SSM, they say, these so-called socons, are keeping us in the dark ages. (That would be the dark ages of four years ago--ed.) I mean, the idiots said the skies would fall, if you can believe it. Swear to God! Do we really want to continue our association with these people? I mean! Falling skies?! I don't want to make a big deal of this, but just so everybody knows: I think they're a bunch of weirdo squares too. ... Falling skies, ha! What a bunch of crazi-- What's that? No, I was just saying what a bunch of crazies those social conservatives are. Yeah, I'm still talking about tha-- What am I? Why, I'm a Libertarian! No, not like the Nazis! etc etc ... ...

Uggh.

Yes OK, guys. We get it. You don't actually know any homosexuals but that totally doesn't mean that you're not, like, completely comfortable with them; doesn't mean that you're, like, a homophobe or something.

Relax, for God's sake.