Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings

Eric happens upon a treasure:

Who says romance is dead? I found this on the floor of the post office today, obviously torn from the three-ring binder of a budding Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

Love hurts and brings tears to my eyes.
Love brings undesired feelings to my heart that I despise.
Love is stupid and pointless and a waste of time.
Love makes me feel as if I spent all day rolling around in the dirt and grime.
Love sucks fucking ass.
I hate it, love is retarded.
I hate every bit, love just makes me want to die
But instead I lay on my bed and cry
Because I'm in love.

Ah yes, in the spring a young woman’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of ... rolling around in the dirt and grime, sucking retarded ass.